Skip To Main Content

Logo Image

Logo Title

by Lexie Woods and Ayana Willoughby (8th)

Have you ever heard of the internet? I’d bet my big toe you haven’t. In the world of YouTube commentary, there is a certain group that prevails over all others. They are known as The Unholy Trinity of YouTube Commentators. As veterans of the World Wide Web, we, Lexie and Ayana, are more than qualified to introduce you to the revolutionary comedian, Drew Gooden.

Drew’s typical content consists of commenting on bizarre videos and spending mind-boggling amounts of money on products advertised in Instagram ads. His brain-blowing intellectual commentary on serious topics such as identity theft, Hallmark Movies, and Ninja’s Master Class surpass anything you have ever seen. You could go as far as to call him a social justice warrior.

His most important review was on the smash-hit, Christmas Mail. This phenomenal 1 hour and 29 minutes of peak cinematic excellence took the world by storm in the early 2010s.

If you’re asking, “Why didn’t I know about this movie if it’s so amazing?”, it’s because you live under a rock, silly goose. Ask your mom, or your dad, or your sister—they’ll all tell you the same thing: Christmas Mail was the greatest motion picture film they’d ever experienced.

However, Drew Gooden isn’t your mom, dad, or sister.

He’s an avowed nonconformist who challenges the ideology of the public. And your cousin—technically. As he once said, “it ony a movie.” He expresses his discontent with Christmas Mail through this groundbreaking quote. The misspelling of the word “only” gives it a whimsical flair, which perfectly encapsulates the content of this wacky rom-com. The movie is also regarded as
being extremely violent due to the fact that a man almost tripped and fell. He was seconds away from being completely zonked.

Unbeknownst to many people, Drew grew up from humble beginnings. He was raised by a loving family, with a snake milking father, and a mother who was an FBI agent. As a child, Drew began to develop supernatural abilities, but there were BIG consequences. When he was seven, he was having a ball in the park when the government started trying to assassinate him out of nowhere! He made it out alive of course, but the government is still on his back.

All in all, Drew Gooden is an amazing person, although he is not nearly as amazing as Danny Gonzalez...

To be Contined.