By David Hayman and Jayson Kelly (7th)

*transcript of an audio report

This is David Hayman reporting with stunning news over 500 Cows have lost their job due to almond milk. Let’s get on that scene with Jayson Kelly...

Thank you David anyway, today we see like 25 cows getting fired, no wait another just got fired. I’m here with Bessie The Cow: she was one of the laid off cows.

“MOO”

You want to sue the almond milk companies?!

“MOOO”

And you say we should eat more chicken? Ok let's go to KFC and meet another cow...

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Here I am with the first cow laid off. His name is Peter. Peter, how do you feel about getting laid off?

“MOO”

Oh!

“MOO MOO”

I am so sorry

“MOO”

What do tacos have to do with this?

“MOOOOOOO”

Thank you for those powerful words Peter.

Well, Thank you for tuning in to The Daily Rubbish World News. We remind you to eat more chicken and to not pour Gatorade on your head. Later.