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by Thea Kupersmith (7th)

Last Friday, during the second period, a Gallus domesticus, (Street name, Chicken,)
was found walking from one side of the road to another, shocking both the student body
and staff. Police were immediately called to the scene to apprehend the chicken,
assuring the school that the reasons for this atrocious act would be discovered and

The chicken, code named, “ mEGG,” was brought into police headquarters and
interrogated for 3 hours. Eventually, using Waddles the pig as a translator, the police
were still unable to uncover mEGG’s intention, but were able to deduce that the chicken
had an accomplice, an anonymous egg. However, the police are still investigating who
crossed the street first, the chicken or the egg.

The argument deteriorated into a shouting match between the police officers as they
tried to deduce between the many different theories of the chickens' purpose for the
nefarious street crossing. The police refused to disclose the theories, but the Scoop was
able to call in Daisy the Cow as a witness, who then was able to explain the debate.

The Scoop apologizes for the wait, but Daisy has just recently returned from her moon-
jumping excursion.

Assumptions varied, including moving to Hollywood to achieve movie star dreams,
starting a vegan restaurant, and going to the book club to discuss War and Geese.
Some idiots suggested that the chicken had no incentive in crossing, and might have
simply just crossed to, “Get to the other side,” but conversation was quickly directed
back to the possibility of the chicken attending the annual Poultry-Against-Chick-Fil-A

Hours of shouting, arguing, and an embarrassing amount of egg puns later, mEGG was
let go under police surveillance. They were trailed by our areas best detectives,
currently on leave from HappySunshine farm, Quakers the duck, Misty the horse,
Floppy the rabbit, and OhAren’tYouTheCutestPuppyEverYesYouAreYesYouAre the

The chicken is now an outspoken activist for normalizing road crossings for all species,
and has published many works, such as The Crumbs In the Rye. If you wish to speak to
them, the school has scheduled an inspirational seminar, to take place next Saturday at
1:30 PM. If anyone wants to attend, please direct yourselves to the bird-founded
college, Quail University.